A lot of smart people have done studies and research on the effects of divorce on children, identifying a wide range of results and responses, both immediate and long-term (Josh McDowell Handbook). Some mental health professionals believe that a divorce is more hurtful at some ages than at others, there is certainly no good time for a young person to deal with the divorce of his or her parents. We know some of you believe it ain’t no big deal, I can handle it, it won’t affect me. But the truth is, you respond to divorce in a lot of different ways.

Most of these ways include denial, shame or embarrassment, blame or guilt, anger, fear, relief, insecurity and low self-esteem, grief, depression, alienation and loneliness. Some youth even have effects that lead to academic problems, behavioral problems, sexual activity, suicidal threats, and maybe some other affects not listed. Just know that it’s normal to go through some of these feelings and situations when your parents are getting or got a divorce. I have personal experience with this subject, so I know how you feel or will be feeling. One thing I can share with you is it will be alright and you will get through it. The Lord won’t put more on you than you can handle. Even in your darkest times, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

A lot of youth ask me what does God say about divorce? Well, God doesn’t like divorce and is pro-marriage. But, check this out. God loves us so much, he gives all of us free will and that means we can do what we want to. And yes, doing what we want can still hurt other people in the process.

There’s a lot of positive ways you can deal with your parent’s divorce, but here’s three good ones from Josh McDowell. First, if you don’t have a relationship with Jesus, we encourage you to get to know him and if you’re already a Christian, we encourage you to have even more prayer time and dependence on God. He is the only one that can truly take the pain away. Second, find a positive role model, good friend or adult who will take time with you so you can talk about how you feel and what you think about the divorce. Third, keep talking to that positive role model, good friend or adult, who will share with you the difference between things you can control and things you can’t control. Here are some helpful scriptures for you to read: Mark 10:9; 1 Corinthians 7:1-17; Ephesians 6:1; Matthew 5:31-32; and Luke 16:18.