Teaching Plan for Parenting with Kingdom Purpose  

A Parent Revival

and

Teaching Plan for

Parenting with Kingdom Purpose

God always has had a wonderful plan for moving faith down through the generations.

• It always has been God’s plan for parents to serve as the primary spiritual influence on their children.
• It always has been God’s plan for parents to teach and model Truth to their own children.
• It always has been God’s plan for parents to turn their hearts toward their children so that warmth and relationships would provide the pipeline for spiritual impact.

Every church leader in the nation knows most church families are not following God’s plan. The stakes are so high that slow change seems unacceptable.

• Parenting by many church members is done so poorly that very slow change seems unacceptable.
• Spiritual teaching and influence in many church homes is so weak that very slow improvement seems unacceptable.
• So few teenagers and collegians are leaving homes with a lifetime, kingdom focus that very slow change seems unacceptable.

Families don’t need incremental change – they need revival! By the power of God, families need dramatic, visible change in a short time. The stakes are too high for business as usual.

Churches that offer parent classes at unpopular hours usually gather a handful of parents. The small group that does respond usually includes some of the best parents who need the least help. Weak parents simply are not being impacted by what most churches are offering.

Plan a Parent Revival

A Parent Revival concentrates all the prayer and energy of the church on one Sunday. Such a plan provides impact for all parents at the very hours they most likely are present. Here are several principles for planning.

1. A Parent Revival should be led by the pastor.

The pastor is the spiritual leader of the congregation in all matters. Parents look to the pastor for leadership in church and family matters. While many churches have age-group staff ministers who have special abilities, responsibilities, and training that apply well to parenting, the pastor must take the lead. He may choose to enlist and delegate parent training to others, including Christian resource persons from the community. He should assure the church and any leaders working with parents of his full interest and support.

2. A Parent Revival should be publicized to parents in the church and community.

Many parents desperately want help, support, and encouragement as they parent their offspring. Even parents who are effective in parenting realize the need for support in this God-given duty. Some parents outside the church also are anxious for support and training in parenting skills.

The church should seek out ways to publicize the Parent Revival to parents inside and outside in your church. Church’s newsletters, bulletins, website, and the church sign marquee are possibilities. Sending news releases to the local newspapers and radio and television stations can help. Posters for local business displays, flyers for distribution, or bulk mail campaign can spread the word.

Local schools, daycares, health clubs, doctor offices, and other family-oriented establishments might make helpful information available to their client families. Finally, church members should be encouraged to personally invite other church members who are parents as well as their friends and neighbors who are not church members.

3. A Parent Revival should not end in one day.

 This revival is going to bring conviction, maybe very painful conviction, to some parents. Others are going to uncover unfinished and unresolved problems from their relationships with their own parents. The church should plan early on to find a Christian counselor who can counsel and minister to hurting parents with forgiveness and compassion.

Others will be encouraged and motivated to follow God in parenting but they will need encouragement, mentoring, and direction. Other parenting topics such as single parenting, parenting special needs children, parenting in blended families, etc., will surface and should be addressed from a loving and biblical perspective. Some parents need help overcoming poor communication skills, ineffective discipline practices, or broken relationships. Such interest may provide ideas for future parent training.

Finally, as parents are revived to their duties and responsibilities toward God, the church may discover that church ministries to preschoolers, children, and students may need to change. The church likely will come to see parents as a child’s primary teachers and spiritual leaders. Such discoveries may change ministries, meetings, philosophies, and budgets. 

4. A Parent Revival must be saturated with prayer.

The only Parent Revivals that will lead to visible, lasting change in large numbers of families will be those under girded by a comprehensive prayer strategy. The spiritual leaders of the church should call members to prayer many different ways before the day arrives.

A church might enlist a team of prayer warriors to support the meetings with prayer. Pray that God will call forth someone with a deep passion and desire to help parents to lead this prayer effort.

5. A Parent Revival should mobilize the congregation in preparation.

Parent Revivals that are staff planned and staff executed will not have the power of those that embrace the full congregation in planning and preparation. A Parent Revival deserves the same attention that a capital fund raising campaign might receive. Weeks or months ahead, teams can begin work on prayer strategies, promotion, music, drama, banquet meal, platform design, and distributing the parenting book to members.

Every church will adapt plans to their unique situations, but most will include these elements focused on parenting:

• Sunday School (with two options below)
• Sunday Morning Worship (with sample sermon outlines below)
• Sunday Evening Workshops
• Sunday Evening Family Banquet (during the evening worship time period)

Sunday School Option One

The Parent Revival might begin with all adults in the auditorium for teaching on parenting. In many churches the pastor will lead this session. In other churches, a guest with expertise in family ministry will be invited to lead.

The preacher/teacher will shape his instruction to several groups represented in the congregation.

• Those who are parenting.
• Those who plan to parent some day. (This might include collegians and young singles).
• Those who want to impact grandchildren.
• Those who are not planning to parent but want to impact the lives of children. (This might include older singles and married persons who cannot have children).

Most churches will build the teaching of the day around the book Parenting with Kingdom Purpose (Hemphill and Ross, Broadman and Holman Publishers, 2005). Parents will underline material and add their margin notes during each session – thus creating a valuable resource they will return to often at home. The book is targeted to parents of all ages of children but has added material for parents of teenagers.

Parenting with Kingdom Purpose clearly communicates to parents that:

• God wants children who embody His name, thus reflecting His character.
• He wants children who obey His word.
• He promises to bless kingdom children in order that all the nations of the earth might be drawn to Him.

The book is filled with practical instruction in great parenting.  Leaders who for years have been frustrated with weak parenting by church members will be pleased to see those specific issues addressed straightforwardly.

The book also includes clear instructions for parents who want to teach spiritual truth to their children. As an added bonus, the book includes:

• A salvation and baptism home celebration for children.
• A Christian bar-mitzvah or bat-mitzvah for middle schoolers.
• A True Love Waits home ceremony for teenagers.

Many churches will video this service for viewing by those who teach children or teenagers in Sunday School. The video can be shown to these leaders the following Wednesday or Sunday evenings.

Sunday School Option Two

Rather than spotlighting one leader who will speak to all adults during Sunday School, other churches will choose a session that is more experiential. The following suggestions are designed for such an approach.

Truth: A kingdom-focused parent inventories his or her life for Christ-like characteristics and commitments.

Format:

• One-hour seminar for all parents together during the Sunday Bible story hour.
• This session will include the personal inventory in Chapter 6 with some other ideas.
• Parents will be confronted with the authoritative sources describing how children become like their parents.
• The session will help parents understand the danger that a lukewarm parent’s spiritual life presents children.

Prior to the session:

1. Provide or sell copies of Parenting with Kingdom Purpose..
2. Depending on the meeting area, you may want to enlist some helpers to provide coffee, juice, and simple pastries as parents arrive.
3. For Steps 1 and 2 provide paper, and pencils or pens.
4. For Step 4, provide a marker board or other large pieces of paper and markers.
5. On a large sheet of paper write the following question or project it on a PowerPoint slide so that everyone in the room can see it:  Is your relationship with God at such a level that you would be happy if your child never rises above it?

1. Think about Matches (5 minutes)

Create interest in this session by asking couples or small groups of 2 or 3 people to create lists of as many matches as possible. Explain that matches are two or more thinks that are very much like. Examples could include socks, cufflinks, bookends, or ear rings. After only about 2 minutes, randomly call for several couples or small groups to read out their lists. 

2. Think about Children and Their Parents (10 minutes)

Explain that like the many matches just named, research shows us that children are good matches to their parents in several ways. Direct couples or individual parents to list ways their own children are like them. After about 4 or 5 minutes allow some volunteers to read their lists. If you think the group might be reluctant to read their lists out loud, plan to share the list you and your spouse created or pre-enlist two or three good-natured, confident parents to share their lists. After some sharing, explain that we often laugh about the physical and personality traits that our children have inherited from us. Focus parents’ attention on the fact that our children usually rise to the same level of spirituality and Christian commitment our children see in us as parents.

3. Present the Research (15 minutes)

Here is an outline to use in presenting research to parents about the likely development of a child’s spiritual life. You may present this information in a way that is most comfortable for you. One such option would be to create a PowerPoint presentation with each of the following points on a slide. Before you begin this presentation, tell parents that you will be asking them to think about these points and determine some implications these points have for parenting. Each statement is taken from Parenting with Kingdom Purpose.

• By the time they reach young adulthood, with only a few exceptions, the great majority of children will have a faith very similar to their parents. Most parents who want to know where their kids are headed religiously just need to look in the mirror.
• Fact: “Only 6% of teens consider their religious beliefs very different from their mothers’ and 11% different from their fathers’.
• Children tend to become teenagers who believe that God is mostly absent. They tend to think of God only when they have a problem that needs to be addressed. If children tend to have the same faith beliefs that their parents have, where does this idea come from?
• Few children rebel against the faith in their homes. On the contrary, they also tend to think of that faith as okay or nice but no big deal. They don’t think faith has any great influence in their lives. Truthfully, they don’t think anything influences them.
• Many church families think church is important, but not too important. Most churches are losing out to the media and the school for the time and attention of youth. Many parents prioritize homework and extracurricular activities over church attendance. As a result, teens give only a very few minutes to Christian instruction in a week’s time.

This is tragic, since kids who practice their faith and are involved at church are very different from their peers.

4. List the Implications (15 minutes)

Move to the marker board or large sheets of paper that you have posted at the front of the room. Ask parents to name some implications this research has for parenting today. As parents respond, record their responses on the marker board or on large sheets of paper. Write so that everyone in the room can read the responses. Be sure to restate each comment so everyone in the room can hear. Lead discussion as time allows, drawing out from parents the deeper meaning from the comments they make. Conclude this step by stating that while all these facts are true, a greater fact exists: that parents are the primary shapers of their children’s faith and practice.

5. Parent Checkup (15 minutes)

Ask parents to turn to the Parent Checkup in Parenting with Kingdom Purpose. Explain that the first step to being a kingdom-focused parent is to fearlessly and honestly determine the quality of our own relationship with God. Ask parents to consider this question: Is your relationship with God at such a level that you would be happy if your child never rises above it? Display the question so everyone can see it. As the parents work on the Parent Checkup, remind them that they will not be asked to share this with anyone - although couples or accountability partners may find it helpful to share their checkups with each other. Pray aloud for the group, asking God to speak to their hearts about their own personal relationships with Him.

Sunday Morning Worship Service

The Sunday morning worship service can include “revival-quality” music, family testimonies, and preaching. The preacher can give the church a vision for rearing children who become spiritually vibrant and kingdom-focused young adults.

Sample Sermon One

The Goal of Kingdom Parenting

By Ken Hemphill

Text: Luke 2: 41-52

How would you like to have a model of effective kingdom parenting?  What would be the standards by which we could judge the effectiveness of our parenting? 

I can’t imagine any parent not wanting to be an effective parent.  No one gives birth to a child with the stated purpose of stunting his\her development.  Yet many of us do just that because we have been asked to approach one of the most difficult tasks on the planet with little specific training and often without an effective model. 

Jesus exemplified the complete kingdom person.  Thus we can look to Him for a model of the kingdom focused person.  Further, we might look to his parents for a model of effective kingdom parenting. 

1. The Parent Modeled Kingdom Priority

Luke 2:41-52. When Jesus was twelve, His parents took Him with them to the Passover in preparation for the day when He would become religiously accountable.  A Jewish boy became of age on his thirteenth birthday and therefore this trip was intended to prepare Jesus for this significant spiritual mile-marker. 

But a closer look at the context indicates that this was not the extent of the concern Jesus’ parents had shown for His spiritual development and kingdom focus.  Look back at 2:21-24 and you will find that Mary and Joseph had followed the dictates of Scripture at every point.  Thus according to the Law of Moses they brought Jesus to Jerusalem to present Him to the Lord. 

While we may not have a ceremony like that of the Jews, it is critical that the kingdom focused parent present their child to the Lord.  This initial presentation should be shared with your child as they grow and mature.  Tell them you consider them to be a gift and a stewardship from the Lord. 

After they had completed everything according to the law of the Lord, Mary and Joseph returned to Nazareth.  We sometimes read right over a verse which clearly indicates that Jesus’ parents continued to model kingdom priorities; “The boy grew up and became strong, filled with wisdom and God’s grace was on Him” (40).  This verse expressly indicates that Mary and Joseph parented in such a way that Jesus grew physically, intellectually, and spiritually.  I am particularly drawn to the phrase “God’s grace was on Him.” 

Do your children know that you are as concerned with their spiritual development as you are their physical or intellectual?  Is there ample evidence?  Are you as concerned about them memorizing Scripture as you are about their memorizing their multiplication tables?  Do you agonize as much about their spiritual diet as you do about their physical one? 

Having just read verse 40, I do not find it surprising to read in verse 41 that Jesus’ parents traveled yearly to Jerusalem for the Passover festival.  Their religious devotion—their kingdom focus—was not occasional but consistent. 

The children of parents only nominally committed to their faith will most often reject that faith.  The children who are at greatest risk today are those whose parents claim to be Christian but are rather casual about their own faith.

Jesus grew in God’s grace in the context of parents who prioritized His spiritual development. 

2. A Son’s Focus on Kingdom Business

 The text and history tell us that often pilgrims traveling to Jerusalem would come in large caravans.  Often the women and small children went ahead and the men and larger boys followed.  Mary and Joseph traveled for a day, each thinking Jesus was with the other or among their relatives.  No doubt they looked for Him among the travelers before they returned to Jerusalem.  It took them a day to return to Jerusalem and then on the third day they found Jesus.

We really don’t need to guess His whereabouts.  He was among the teacher in the Temple.  He was listening and asking questions.  The spiritual hunger that had been nurtured by His parents had created a thirst for spiritual knowledge.  Don’t miss the impact of verse 47; “And all those who heard Him were astonished at His understanding and His answers.”  Jesus’ parents had taught Him God’s Word with such care that His knowledge astounded all who heard Him.

His somewhat distraught parents understandably ask why Jesus had not been more considerate about what He had put them through. 

Jesus’ response is worth note.  “Didn’t you know that I had to be in my Father’s house?”

The Greek could actually be translated “about my Father’s business.”  In either case, Jesus’ answer indicates that as a twelve year old boy He had a clear understanding of the importance of kingdom service.  Perhaps His response to His parents carries this point.  We might paraphrase: “Why are you surprised to find me here.  You taught Me that My greatest purpose in life is to advance My Father’s Kingdom and accomplish His will.”

Are you parenting in such a manner that your children know that your desire is that they advance God’s kingdom by His power for His glory?

3. The Obedient Son

Jesus’ answer about His Father’s business certainly indicates that He already understood something of His unique relationship to God, His Father.  Yet, he willingly submits to his parents’ leadership.  He knew this too was the will of His Father in heaven. 

Kingdom focused parenting and obedience of children go hand in hand.  You may recall that in the same context that Paul exhorts children to obey and honor their parents; he also calls upon parents not to provoke their children but rather to bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.  In other words, parents are to disciple their children.  The discipling process will in turn create obedience. 

4. Balanced Development

Too many children are pressured by parents to develop in only one or two areas of life - and therefore they do not grow in a balanced manner.  In a single verse pregnant with meaning, we find a summary of the ongoing growth and development of Jesus. 

Let’s consider the four-fold development of Jesus.

A. Wisdom—Jesus was parented in such a way that He continued to grow in wisdom.  His wisdom would have been such that all that He learned would be viewed through the prism of God’s Word.  Intellectual development must be based on the understanding that all truth emanates from God.  Thus we are responsible for helping our children to develop a Christian world-view.  This is essential in our day of relativism. 

B. Stature—Jesus’ parents were concerned with His physical development.  A carpenter’s trade would have provided a pretty intense physical regime.  If you have ever visited the holy land and driven across some of the area that Jesus visited on foot, you will be awed by the prospect of His physical fitness.  During the movie The Passion of Christ, many were moved by the brutal flogging and the agonizing journey to Calvary. Many reflected on the spiritual and physical stamina that this moment of testing required. 

Our concern for our children’s physical development reflects our ultimate desire that they understand that their body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. It is the offering that we present to the Lord.  It is the context of our spiritual service.  Read Romans 12:1.

C. In favor with God—Jesus was parented in such a manner that His goal was to accomplish the will of His Father.  What are you doing to instill in your child this passion to accomplish the will of their Father?  Here is where our behavior and priorities must square with our verbal declarations.

D. In favor with man—As Jesus grew He was highly esteemed and loved by His fellow men.  When Jesus began His public ministry, the inevitable occurred when He confronted men with their sin and God’s righteousness.  This led to the crisis of decision when people had to choose for or against Him.  Nonetheless, we see in Jesus incredible interpersonal skills.  His ability to relate to children, the downcast, the outcast, and the upper caste, indicates that His parents had insured that He had grown in His social skills.  

Now we have a model and a goal.  We need to disciple our children in such a manner that they will grow intellectually, physically, spiritually, and socially.  But the ultimate goal is that our children will make an impact for the kingdom of God. 

Sample Sermon Two

What is a Kingdom Parent?

Ken Hemphill

This outline is taken from the book Parenting with Kingdom Purpose. Scriptural background for each point can be found there.

1. A kingdom parent has a vital relationship to the King. 
2. A kingdom parent is passionate about worshipping the King. 
3. A kingdom parent is passionate about prayer.
4. A kingdom parent loves other kingdom people.
5. A kingdom parent encourages the best in others. 
6. A kingdom parent looks at every event from a kingdom perspective. 
7. A kingdom parent seeks first to portray God’s righteousness through their behavior and to advance God’s kingdom with all their resources.
8. A kingdom parent desires a lifestyle that reflects His Father’s character. 
9. A kingdom parent has a passion to study and obey God’s word. 
10. A kingdom parent is passionate about reaching the nations. 

Sample Sermon Three

“Unless the LORD Build the House”

Text: Psalm 127:1

Jerry Drace

Introduction

We buy things we do not want just to impress people we do not like.  We build bigger houses for smaller families.  We can quote the latest sport statistics of our home team but forget the birthdays of those who live in our home.  We talk to strangers but not to those who live in our house.  We have two income families but more debt. 

We want freedom without responsibility, education without wisdom, success without sacrifice, religion without righteousness, and marriage without commitment. 

We are raising a generation of children with valueless values.  Is it any wonder that half of the teenagers who attend church say they are stressed out?  Over half say they are confused.  Three-fourths say they are looking for answers to the deep questions of life.  Fifty-seven percent cannot even say that an objective standard of truth exists. 

Tolerance is in.  Conviction is out.  Personal interpretation is in.  Absolute truth is out.  It is not that the majority of young people who attend church today believe nothing, it is that they believe everything. 

We desperately need a revival in our families today.  The word “revival” means, “to live again”.  This is exactly what needs to take place in our homes.  Fathers and mothers need to live again the truths of the Scriptures in front of their children.  The family altar needs to be rebuilt or established.  It is true that a family altar will alter the family. 

The text states loud and clear, “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.”  Five key scriptures in the Bible are centered on the main text.  Each one builds on the other. 

I.  Exodus 20:5

   A.  God is Jealous

          1. There is a high price to be paid for serving false gods (religion, sports, finances, power, politics, etc)

2. The character of the father determines the character of generations yet unborn.

   B.     God is Merciful

1.     His blessings are on the fathers who serve Him and their families.

2.     The greatest gift a husband and father can give his family is to reflect the life of Christ.

II. Exodus 20:12

   A.     Honor is earned

1. Parents, honor like respect is received by living a life of integrity in front of your children. What you do daily speaks louder than what you say on Sunday.

2.     Honor cannot be inherited.  Each child must earn it through discipline and obedience, first to God then to parents.

   B.     Honor is rewarded

1.     The command is to honor your father and mother.  A family should not have two daddies or two mommies.  God’s plan for a family is very clear in Scripture.       

2.     The gift of life is a promise based on the honor you give to your parents and the honor they give to God.

III. Proverbs 3:12

   A.     Discipline proves the Lord’s love

1.     God disciplined David, a man after His own heart.

2.      Jesus corrected Peter the preacher at Pentecost.

   B.     Discipline proves a father’s love   

1.     Choices bring consequences (rewards or discipline)

2.     Undisciplined children become unruly adults.

IV. I Timothy 3:4-5, 12

   A.     A personal note to the pastor

1.     Take care of your house before you minister in God’s house.

2.     Your submission to God’s authority sets the example for your children’s submission to your authority.

   B.      A personal note to the deacons

1. Be faithful as a partner.

2. Be fair as a parent.

V.  Proverbs 22:6

    A.  Understood subject

1.  “You” train your own children.

2.  Train their hearts, minds, wills and conscience. 

   B.  Understood expectation

1.  Your children are free to choose your training, but they are not free not to choose.  And they are not free to choose the consequences of their choices.

2.  Set the example through daily prayer and Bible reading as a family.

Nehemiah 4:14 tells us to fight for our families.  There is no greater cause than protecting your family.  Surround them with your prayers.  Cover them with His word.  Fill them with His promises.  Remember, “Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.”

Jerry Drace has been in full time evangelism since 1975.  The Jerry Drace Evangelistic Association is located at 236 Sanders Bluff Rd., Humboldt, TN  38343.  The web sites are:  www.jdea.tn.org and www.HopefortheHome.org  

Sunday Evening Workshops

The gathering on Sunday evening can include separate workshops for:

• parents of preschoolers
• parents of grade schoolers
• parents of teenagers
• parents of college students and young adults
• grandparents
• adults who impact the children of others

Church leaders or special guests should lead specific teaching from Parenting with Kingdom Purpose in relationship to each of their life situations. During the final 15 minutes, leaders should prepare fathers and other adults to lead family worship at the close of the Family Banquet.

Sunday Evening Family Banquet

A Family Banquet is the focus of the evening worship time. The banquet plan might bring back the weak families for Sunday night better than a typical Sunday night service. The evening features wonderful fellowship over a meal, spirited singing, more family skits and testimonies, teaching from the book on parenting, and closing worship.

For this closing worship time, grandparents and adults who impact the children of others move into “family” groups as instructed earlier in the evening.  At the same time, intact families circle their chairs and dad takes on the role of spiritual leader and conducts the closing worship. Dads (or moms who head households) learn how to lead this final worship time during the session before the banquet.

Dad gets to try his wings leading out in family worship – with the safety of the large group. His children or teenagers tend to respond to him because all other families are doing the same thing. Because this first attempt at family worship turns out well, families are open to the challenge to keep this going for years in their homes.

Conclusion

We don’t need incremental change – we need revival. We need a revival in homes that leads to full revival in the church and an awakening in culture.